Day 9

"Today is Day 9 of the 10-day cycle." These stupid announcements are as stupid as ever. I miss Mr. Williams a bit, actually. The new one sucks balls. Speaks too fast, no one understands her. So icky. SO, an update ?

Not much going on, I think. I'm just trying to be a "good student" to fulfill my own goals for the time-being. After a while, I just wanna drop dead at some points. Go somewhere and escape all this crap. I haven't been getting the best of sleep but I guess that's not unusual. Today was my second missing homework for U.S. History and I barely got away with a half-done Calc homework. Very sad. It's only been a week and something since school started and I'm already dropping a bit. How pathetic. I better pick myself back up if I really want that laptop. And I really want it. I know I keep bringing it up and it's annoying, but bear with me.

So let's see-english I'm off to a good-ish start. Except for this morning, I was late by a whole 20 minutes 'cause of some stupid traffic jam that I was sitting in for a good 30 min. Like wth ? I had an AP Bio quiz today and sorta studied. I think I got one or two questions with a guess 'cause I was unsure but other than that I think I did okay. It was just a biochem review, so I think I'm fine. I'm starting to understand the stuff Mr. Wise is teaching for calc. It's not easy but it's not so deadly hard either. I think I can manage, at least until the first test. Then I'm screwed.

So far, gym is actually one of my favorite classes. I get to let loose and we're starting volleyball so I can let out some negative energy out on the ball. Not that I have a lot that people know about, but a fair amount I suppose. Physics and U.S. history were a blur to me.

Dammit, this post is sounding so depressing. I think it's the people around me. Everyone's in a somewhat depressed mood. Of course, I'm trying to help my loved ones but they won't exactly let me. And they always help me. I feel so...helpless. Maybe I should start avoiding everyone to the best of my abilities :x ? I don't know what to do.

And my situation doesn't exactly get better. Let's just say, I'm crushed, if you call it that. Sort of. I mean I can pick myself back up but it just seemed t me like a waste of time. And I don't like wasting my time with something so "frivolous" Is that how you use the word ? I'm too lazy and it's too late to look it up at this point.

I should just forget everything that happened in the past few days and focus on the rest of the school year. Yea, that's how I should play my cards.

Til next time ?

-AK.

"just pretend nothing ever happened.
pretend i never had any feelings,
pretend that it never existed.
so it would go back to the way it was,
the way it's supposed to be.
then just maybe,
with that sliver of hope,
progress will be made."