School, I don't really want to talk about too much. I just got back my Calc test today, and I'm so fucking disappointed. I took 3 hours studying for this shit, made a nice thorough review sheet, knew the damn formulas and processes to get to the answer and everything and I'm a couple of points way from passing. How lovely. I'm just so mad at myself. Why can't I fucking pass ? Why am I such a damn failure ? Ah, if only I had the answers to these questions. It's not just Calc, it's also my other AP-Bio. We had a quiz last week and I was sure I did OK. But NOO, the teacher was walking around showing us our grades on the scantrons and he said to multiply the little red number by five to get our score out of 100. I got a 7. Multiply by 5 and you get WHAT !? Yea, that's my score.
So, school is perfectly dandy, dont'cha think ? I think so. I feel oh-so positive lately. Sike. But then again, I think I am a tad bit more positive than that...other week. The last week or so of October ? Remember that brief time period that I went crazy ? Yea, don't want that happening again. Although when I think about next year and colleges and all that jazz, I just feel so...insecure ? Scared ? Something along those lines. I try not to think about it, but it is the near future-you just can't help but think about it.
So that's my little bit. Let's move on to some less depressing stuff, shall we ? Today...what did I do today ? OH YES, after failing, I had P.E. There's no progress, sadly. After a couple of little episodes in volleyball, that little episode at the volleyball game-when we finally "talked" in person-nothing much happened. Nowadays it's just me...dreaming and trying to get the timing right. Unfortunately, I have no such luck. I think I should just be more...outspoken ? No, that's not the word, I think it's outgoing ? Yea, that. Instead of thinking how awkward/weird it is, I should just take action, no ? Ha. I say all this now but I guarantee I won't follow up with what I say. Very bad, in my opinion. But still, I can't help but dream and wonder...loads of stuff.
LATELY, I've been feeling uber girly and "feminine." Maybe it's just me and a phase, but I don't know.
It feels a bit odd and VAIN at times, but I kind of like it. I mean, I aint the prettiest girl out there, I aint the skinnest, I probably aint the fittest-although I admit, I think I'm pretty buff ~ minus a lot of flab T^T - and all that, but sometimes I can't help but feel pretty or WANT to feel pretty at times. It's a girl thing, yo. Vicky totally agrees-SHE KNOWS IT ! Although I must improve my...taste for certain things.
We went shopping in SoHo today ~ ! Three different stores and I spent less than $30, it's amazing. But the thing is they were little trinkets. H&M: earrings, studs kinda things. UniQulo: a cotton shirt. Victoria's Secret: Some body mist thingy Vicky recommended. It smells niiice ~ It was fun though, we camwhored a lot. More than usual. And she took some...shots of me that I don't really like and she won't delete them ! But there are a few nice ones, I must admit. We're oh so cool (:
Ooh, I can't wait until I go out to eat with Veronica. Man, it's been ages since I've seen that girl. I have a feeling we're gonna have fun ~
ohmygoodness. I swear my sister is being overly dramatic right now. It's like: STFU, BITCH. She's just so...uber drama-y with me now. It's not like I don't care, but she's just taking it over the edge a bit. Okay, so my dad pissed her off. Big whoop. If she knew half the shit my parents go through for her, she'd freaking understand. My dad right now has some foot/leg problems and he's in pain, right ? So he went to the doctor's today and took off and he's taking another off day tomorrow for a sick day. I guess he's resting or something. She's being uber bitchy about it though. I don't know. Yea...she needs a blog.
So, it's 11:23PM now. What to do, what to do. I have some unfinished USH hw, but that's not due until Wednesday. I did more than half of it so I guess I should just give up on it and do my other homeworks. Yea. That would make more sense. So I guess..."toodlebutts." JUST FOR YOU, VICKY.
But yea, I'm kinda exhausted, my throat hurts a bit-I think I have an infection. GOSH I HOPE NOT. But yea...I need some medicine. -looks through cabinet- Nope, nothing. I'll have to eat healthy and get loads of rest, HOPEFULLY ):
Good night ~
-AK.
I just want to be happy.
I just want to spend my time wisely.
I just want to live my life to the fullest.
All these things can be accomplished and fulfilled,
But I'll only be satisfied
With you.
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