Day 43 - a post before midnight !

Today was...not so horrible that I feel like yanking my hair out but not so great that I feel like jumping for joy, either. I think I'm close to yanking my hair out though. Somewhere on the verge of going insane. Let's hope I get a grip on sanity and survive this year. So, update-here we go.

I slept at 4 this morning-I was hoping for 3 or before that but my homework, organizing and routines took an hour-and woke up at 6. Hmm...two hours of sleep. Not good. I was so...lifeless when I got to school. I felt like a damn zombie except I have all my brains. I think. I didn't even have the energy to speak up properly. I think I sort of got better as the day progressed. Better physically. I can't say much about my mental health. No, I don't think I have any mental issues, or anything like that.

I actually have more to say today-I think. If I have the time and I'm not too lazy or distracted, I'll type out my whole day...maybe. Let's being with English. It was...kind of bad ? We have an essay due on Friday and I'm supposed to start it now. Whoops. It can wait til...tomorrow ? Eh, it's critical lens-I hate that stuffs. But it's "good practice." AP Bio was the usual boring shit. I brought my Calc textbook to school today and finished my homework-sorta. I always end up doing or copying my math homework in AP Bio and yet, I wonder why I'm failing. AP Calc wasn't too bad, other than the fact that he called my house and I totally remembered it...I actually sort of get the material we did today. A lot more than the usual "I think I get it" times. I better not get too confident. If I get disappointed again, I don't know how the heck I'm going to handle another failing grade. Then comes P.E., my favorite class of the day. NOT because I get to see the senior, but because I actually have fun in that class and I'm not failing :D But I didn't see him today. I think he was a tad bit late. He wasn't with his friend and I almost thought he was absent til I saw him coming in. Harhar. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I CAN'T SAYING A FUCKING HI. Sorry for the sudden cursing, but I'm not myself today. But yea, I can't say hi. It's my bad timing. You know how you say hi to someone you know as soon as you see/notice them ? I always have bad timing. He's almost always behind me and it's too late for me to just turn around and say hi then make it awkward. Maybe I'm just over-thinking it too much. But I am determined to say a damned hi by the end of this week. Tomorrow, definitely tomorrow. I think I'm being a tad bit immature about this. I should just say a damn hi-it's no big deal. Who cares if it's awkward-right ? Right. I can do this.

So, moving on. Nothing interesting happened today. EXCEPT, now I must rant. Okay I must say (sorry for those of you reading) that a certain person I know is a dick. A total dickface. NO OFFENSE TO  YOU, LOUISE. I know she's dating him and stuff, but a girl can't help but complain when she needs to. It's just...I hate it when someone thinks they know everything about someone else. More like, they think they know every single freakin' thing there is to know. That really pisses me off. And how they use that information to kind of...what's the word...crush your hopes ? Or something like that. Like okay, he's had one class with Mr. Senior. Big whoop. So, now he knows everything about him, how he's never going to have a girlfriend(not like I really wanted to go that far, I can still hope though), how he's not interested in younger girls(yea, he's one to talk) and how he pities him 'cause I fancy him. NO. I was fine with everything up until the last one. He fucking pities him 'cause I fancy him ? Like wtf ? That makes absolutely no freakin' sense. We're not dating, and he doesn't know I fancy him so there's nothing to effing pity him for. Sorry if you're reading this Louise, you know how I get when people...tweak me :/

I AM PERFECTLY FINE ~ Okay, so little miss vicky just signed off and she's playing a little matchmaker with me and...someone. I kind of don't want her to D; I know I know, she's probably just entertaining herself :P But...eh. I just want to see how things go. I don't want to rush things and end up doing things I might regret later on. Yea...just a bit of insight I guess. AH, it's only 10PM but it feels like...12 or later. I feel oh so tired and my parents are bitching oh so much. I think I'll shower as soon as my bro finishes and then sleep. I can't wait til tomorrow to accomplish my goal ! I had better do it. I hope my timings tomorrow are a tad bit better...IT DON'T MATTER. I'MA DO IT ANYWAYS ;O ! I totally got this. I can't wait til Friday-a nice relaxing afternoon at MF. Seeing my two besties and just...chilling, for once. I hope I don't spend too much money-I'm going broke like everyone else. I need to save up money. For what ? I aint so sure. But having money is way better than being broke, right ? Right.

Ah, stomach pains are coming back. Time for my meds. I hope it goes away, seriously. Til tomorrow ? Maaybe.

-AK.

Three people who make my day.
No matter how I'm feeling,
Or what I'm doing-
They make me forget everything
And just enjoy the time I spend with them.
Where would I be without them ?

(have fun guessing, vicky)